


rOmEo an juwuliet FIX IT FIC XDDDDDddD!!1! (by friar lawrence)

by Nyargh



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, also there was supposed to be Really Bad Smut but i gave up so it's barely there, and my soul died so i made this to make her regret things, don't read it if u actually want something normal, friar is a mary sue, friar lawrence is the "writer", i disrespected friar lawrence so much im sorry, my friend said friar laurence "shipped" romeo and juliet, this fic is horrible and it is not real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 17:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13862313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyargh/pseuds/Nyargh
Summary: A/N: hEnLo it is da friar laURence!!1! omg so 2dai my OTP died….. >~< IM SO MAD!!1! they wuz perfect 4 eech oter AND I WUV THEM WAIIIIIIII so dis is my fix it fic YAAAAAAAYAYAYAYY





	rOmEo an juwuliet FIX IT FIC XDDDDDddD!!1! (by friar lawrence)

Romeo finally got to Verona with his poison and he was gonna kill himself because Juliet his wife was dead, so he got to the tomb and after he killed Paris he brought Paris down into the tomb and left him there. He saw Juliet and cried because his waifu was *ded*. He kissed her and drank da poison, and fell down and died……. OR DID HE?!?!? (A/N: XDDD)

 

Juliet was in her dark black dress becuz even though she’s normally a jock, she was becoming a goth because ALL TE GRIEF her husband made her go through (also XD bcuz shes ded). She had her hair in a veil that was a spider web but made out of silk and her dress also had spider web patterns and she had black lipstick to hide her actually bright red pretty full lips and she was wearing dark makeup and her eyes had eyeshadow the color of the night (romeo an juliet can only b 2gether in da night/dark!!1!) to show her love for her husband. Romeo’s hot dead body was now right next to hers BUT SHE DOESNT KNOW OH NOOOES!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!11!1!

 

Me, Friar Laurence, rush into the tomb. I had planned for Juliet to fake die and then Romeo would save her because I'm a GENIUS (A/N: STahP complimenting urself fic friar laurence X333 it's embarassing) but Romeo didn't know about my plan and came in and killed himself.

 

“NOOOOOOOOO,” I cri, “MY PURE SINNAMON BUN SMOL BEAN SON HAS DIED!!1!1!” I have a shiny bald head that is really shiny and shines. (bcuz i luv God we are cuote gay bbies uwuwu) My tears are just as shiny as my head, and my robe blows in the wind, and also i flip off Paris because he sux.

 

But then!!!, Juliet woke up!!!!! Ruh roh!1! “Friar-kun, where is my kawaii af husbando?” she asked me.

 

I barely choked back my tears. “H-HE’S…….. GAWN!!!!! 5EVER!!!!!” Juliet started crying, her clear crystal tears falling down her face, but it doesn’t ruin her black makeup!!!! Because it’s waterproof because she’s supposed to crai twice a day. (A/N: liek dis if u cri every tiem T-T)

 

“Juliet-chan, you need to get away and become a nun with me,” I beg, but she refuses because she needs to be able to be a sexi goth 24/7. Then i hear noise at teh door so I run, I DON’T WANNA DIE YET………………… ;~;

 

Juliet quickly grabs Romeo’s knife (A/N: KNAIFU XDDd) and stabs herself. She dies, and then the guards are here and they princess carry me to the tomb and demand me to explain what happened, and Balthasar and Paris’ page is there being bridal carried too. I explain everything to Prince Escalus and the Capulets and Montagues.

 

“I’m SOWWY dis ish all mah fault!!!” I start sobbing, but Prince Escalus forgives me and I don’t have to die. Everyone’s sorry that the cutest OTP had 2 die and they forgive and love each other and it’s super cute and kool but I miss my CHILDREN (A/N: shaddup i kno its montague and capulet’s children but!!! THEIR!! MY BABIES!!!) so I realize that I was a witch in my previous lifetime (A/N: LE GASP… evil sexi which to nun…. OMG) and I take my potions and I find out that I can revive everyone! SWEG! 

 

I bring everybody dead together: Paris, Romeo, Juliet, Lady Montague, Mercutio, and Tybalt. I chant my super edgy and dark demon summoning spell with a cool pentagram and I feed them my potion and they REVIVE!!!!! Romeo and Juliet cry and glomp, and Prince Escalus crowns them king and queen of the world. They live in a cool castle and because I was so smart I’m their advisor and I’m just as rich and pretty and popular and smart as them if not moar.

 

Tybalt and Paris are evil and try to take us down BUT I CAST MY SPELL AND we torture them with crazy torture instruments. (A/N: omg imma priest…. but i also haev a dark side im sucha edgelord :3) They die a second time and then I revive them and we keep killing them and reviving them it’s sooooo bad.

 

Mercutio kills himself and we’re ALL SO SAD because our most FABU boy EVA is dead and we all cry. (A/N: kmssss NOT MERCUTIO…. the feelz...)

 

“Why would he do this…?” Romeo doesn’t leave his room for dayz from grief, but then I find a letter from Mercutio. (I can communicate with the dead as a priest)

 

He died because he loved Tybalt and THEY COULDN’T BE TOGETHER…. I revive them and they’re happy and 2gether BUT PARIS is still dead. (A/N: omg illegal murder babbies…… this yaoi is my guilty pleasure dont tell god~)

 

Benvolio and da Nurse are kewl af and they live with use (they’re feeling -_- bc of wat romeo and juliet did and how stoopid it uz but u kno its all ok bc of my magic witch powers and my husband’s powers that combined in me)

 

Romeo and Juliet are happy again, and so they decide to do the DO!!!! (A/N: pls….. I kennot b-lieve im doin dis… ITS MAI FIRST TIME WRITING DIS LEMON pwease fowgive me if it’s bad… i dun care that im a friar)

 

Romeo undos Juliet’s dress slowly, and makes out with her. Juliet blushes and turns away nervously….

 

“Are you as good as I remember?” She bats her eyelashes slowly at Romeo, and he blushes and kisses her. He bites her neck and she closes her eyes and leans back.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

A/N:

me: OMG es geting hawt and STEAMY XDDDDDDDD

juliet: W-WAI R U HERE BAKA… *slaps friar/mi* >//////< u creepy old man pastor perv!1

romeo: O_o

me: *nosbleed* worth it…… X3333

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Then Romeo takes off her bra and they have sex and they live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END

**Author's Note:**

> let me die i have an abandoned chat fic that i should be working on with my other author but y'know i hate myself so
> 
> -shoeitchy


End file.
